Lucy and James are having their first professional pictures taken this Thursday, and until today, they hadn't a thing to wear. I honestly had not noticed that their wardrobe was in such dire straits until last week, when it was I received an email from Kara with the following:

Kara Was Charlie's first birthday party a homeless dress-up party, or did you dress your kids in tee-shirts on purpose?

Thanks. You're a peach. Point taken.

But, I must ask -- does this really look that homeless?

This is James (on the right, in the tee -- the other is the adorable Charlie):












And this is Lucy:

I'll submit that they don't look like they've been in the care of their night nanny, wet nurse, and governess at their summer place in the Hamptons, whilst Mummy and Daddy were busy picking out window dressings for their winter home on a one of the private Earth islands in Dubai (Burkina Faso, perhaps, or Boliva). But, it's not as though I clad them in Hanes a-shirts and a dirty diaper, popped a bottle full of Mountain Dew in their mouths, and called it a day.

So, I have been annoyed that I've met with limited success dressing my kids in ways that are socially acceptable. It's not for lack of trying. It's just become increasingly obvious to me that the retailers of the world think that small boys should only wear tiny man clothes (see, e.g., tiny polo oxford shirts) or graphic tee shirts. And, I always feel like Lucy has more than enough clothes, particularly when you consider that she a) rarely leaves the house (it's summer; it's hot, hence no walks); b) hates dresses that restrict her ability to quickly crawl to her brother and steal his pacifier/cell phone/discarded shrink-wrap with a passion, and c) is constantly gifted an obscene number of outfits from loving relatives.

I really did try to dress them better for the party. And, despite having popped in on the sixteen-odd most well-stocked tot shops and department stores in town, I was left wanting. All I managed to track down were two pairs of tot-sized converse -- black for James (to encourage his inner cape-wearing goth kid) and sparkly pink for Lucy (because the salesperson at Nordstrom brought out sparkly rather than regular pink, and Lucy immediately grabbed a shoe and shoved it in her mouth).

Likewise, my personal attempts to appropriately festoon them for the photos have been fruitless. It does not help that James, at 11 months and change, is the size of a preschooler -- but since he doesn't walk or talk, I assume people think he's a really slow (albeit cute) preschooler. (I'll admit I kind of like the pity, so I don't correct them...) Luckily my intrepid sister Kara has found something she claims will be suitable. Kara, many thanks.

So, photos are scheduled for July 2 at 9:45. I am sure it will go off without a hitch. And maybe after that, HCAD will magically lower my property taxes, my crazy neighbors will stop fighting, and I'll develop a fondness for televised sports.